Live Authentic

Most of my life, I feel like I’ve been one person. Margo, Tina and Jess Sandoval’s daughter. The cookie cutter child growing up in middle class America. The only times I cut out of the “norm” was 6th grade when I went through a punk/goth phase and high school when I surrounded myself with everything anime. The rest of the time, I did what was expected of me, as any child would do. Do what your parents told you.

Joining the Army was the chance to break out of my shell. A chance to truly flourish and I did. I made true friends, I had amazing experiences, went to cool places. I met the love of my life in the army. My son was conceived and born while I was in the army.

The last 4 years have been my hard years. Depression, insomnia, and anxiety have run rampant in my life. It had a strong hold on me for a long time. About a year ago, I finally went to get treatment and the treatment has been hit or miss. Some medications didn’t work, some were too strong. Eventually we find the right medications and therapy schedule for me to heal and work towards being a better me. One thing that truly helped hit the healing home was reevaluating my spirituality. I was raised in a Catholic household, went to catholic schools but I never really felt I believed or belonged. (Now I’m not bashing religion, I just know it’s not for me.) My life has been so much better since the realization that I am pagan.

Paganism varies from person to person so I don’t have a literal definition or break down of it. To me, being pagan means that I understand the earth, universe, nature, energies, creatures are all connected. The moon cycle affects me, just as it affects the tides, it affects me in different but similar ways. My moods and energies ebbs and flows just as the tides. I have crystals around my home to energize me and to absorb negative energies. I drink moon water every morning to center my energy and promote good vibe for body, mind, and soul. I don’t believe in Heaven and Hell, I believe in reincarnation (so if you see me staring at your birthmark, I’m tryin to figure out what happened in your past life). I meditate, do yoga, earthing (walking barefoot in nature to center myself with the universe around me), light rituals (to bring positivity and good fortune to my life)

I love who I am now. I am who I’m finally meant to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m finally living my authentic life.